Our time together would not have been the same without St Gemma’s – we could just be together as a family, everything else was taken care of.
Patients
Nicola & Cheryl’s Story
“Our names are Nicola and Cheryl, and both our parents, Josie and Graham, were cared for by St Gemma’s Hospice.
Our dad was diagnosed with a brain tumour at the age of 68. At the time, our mum was his carer. She did everything she could to make sure he was comfortable, but it was incredibly hard for her to manage his symptoms alone. When St Gemma’s stepped in, they offered not only care for Dad, but also reassurance for Mum. She felt supported, understood and no longer felt she had to carry the weight alone.
As Dad’s condition progressed, he needed more specialised care. He was admitted to the St Gemma’s In-Patient Unit in December 2013, where he stayed for eight and a half weeks. That Christmas was the last we spent together as a family.
When we were younger, Christmas was a special time in our home. Mum would cook the Christmas dinner while Dad did the washing up. Mum would hide silver coins in the Christmas pudding, and we would all laugh and giggle as we tried to find them. We’d wear the paper hats from our crackers, and the evening always ended playing games like charades. Those moments were simple, but to us, they were everything.
When Dad was admitted to St Gemma’s, the Hospice helped us recreate those memories from our childhood. We had Christmas dinner together, just as we always had, with Dad proudly wearing his cracker hat. He even visited the little Hospice shop so he could choose presents for his grandchildren himself. St Gemma’s gave us the priceless gift of simply being a family again. They made sure Dad received the care he needed, meaning that Mum could be his wife again, not his carer.
Dad sadly passed away in the New Year, but the support didn’t stop. Mum went to the bereavement support groups at St Gemma’s, where she met others who understood her loss. Some of those people went on to become her closest friends.
We carried on and continued to make Christmas special, always remembering Dad and the memories we had together. Over the years, Mum’s health was not the best, but she never once complained. She just got on with living life.
Last November, Mum became very poorly and was taken into hospital. She told a friend, “They should just take me to St Gemma’s.” When things took a turn for the worse, we knew where she needed to be.
In January, Mum spent her final two nights at St Gemma’s. It was her final wish to be cared for by the nurses there. The nurses were amazing; they made sure she wasn’t in pain and sat with us through the long nights.
Being back at St Gemma’s was what we needed as a family. We knew what to expect because of our time with Dad. Most importantly, we knew Mum was in the best possible place, and that she would be happy. The Hospice was a safe space for us where we could be a family and spend precious time with our lovely mum.
We will always be grateful not only for the care Mum and Dad received, but also for the warmth, kindness and steady support St Gemma’s gave us our whole family. They gave us time to make memories in those final weeks and days. They helped us say goodbye with love instead of fear.
This year, Christmas will be very different. It will be our first without either Mum or Dad. But we will hold onto our memories with our family. We are so thankful that St Gemma’s made that possible.
Thank you for taking the time to read our story, and thank you for supporting families like ours this Christmas.”
Nicola and Cheryl