It’s incredibly meaningful. Knowing that we are supporting people at one of the hardest moments of their lives feels like a real privilege.
Volunteers
Sue’s Story
My name is Sue Shillito and I’m a Bereavement Support Café volunteer.
How long have you been volunteering here?
10 years.
What inspired you to start volunteering?
In 2014, my mum received incredible care from St Gemma’s Hospice. She first attended the day clinic, was supported at home by the community team, and spent her final days as an inpatient on the ward. The compassion shown by every member of staff, including doctors, nurses, housekeeping, catering, reception and bereavement support, was outstanding. They were not only there for Mum, they looked after my sister and me too. During those last days, they made sure Mum was comfortable, pain-free and treated with dignity, while also guiding and supporting us through one of the hardest times of our lives.
St Gemma’s support did not stop when Mum passed away. The team signposted me to the bereavement café, where I met others who understood what I was going through. I also received one-to-one bereavement support, which gave me space to talk openly and process my grief. That support was invaluable and made a real difference to my healing.
After experiencing first-hand the difference St Gemma’s made to our family, I knew I wanted to give something back. I applied to become a volunteer with the bereavement group, hoping to offer others the same kindness, support and understanding we had received.
What was happening in your life when you decided to get involved?
I was employed full time and was able to fit volunteering at the bereavement café into my busy life.
Do you remember your first day? What was it like?
I already knew the bereavement team I was going to be working with, and they welcomed me with open arms and support. It was a pleasure to meet and support newly bereaved clients at the café.
What does a typical volunteering session look like for you?
I attend the bereavement café on the third Friday of each month. It starts with getting the room and refreshments ready, followed by a pre-meet with Sarah and Rob.
Sue
Bereavement Café Volunteer
During the café, I and other volunteers listen to, empathise with and support people who are attending for the first time or who have been coming for a number of months. We give them space to talk about their loved ones, share their feelings, and connect with others, which helps normalise many of the emotions they are experiencing.
What’s your favourite part of what you do?
Walking alongside people on their bereavement journey is a privilege. While it can be emotional, the connections made and the comfort we can offer each other are incredibly rewarding. St Gemma’s gave so much to my family, and I am grateful I can play a small part in helping continue that care for others.
I also like seeing the growth people make in their grief journey and how, as they become stronger, they are able to support others by sharing their stories and experiences. Many people attending the café form friendships that continue outside of it.
What’s something people might not realise about this role?
Just how rewarding it is.
How has volunteering made you feel?
I feel proud to be able to make a small contribution to what St Gemma’s does as a whole.
Has volunteering changed anything for you personally?
Volunteering at the bereavement café has definitely changed things for me. I feel more confident when speaking to people and more connected to others. Knowing I am making a difference is a real sense of achievement. The training and awareness sessions have also given me valuable knowledge about grief, different religions and conditions such as dementia, which helps me support others.
What’s it like being part of the volunteer team?
It is a privilege working as part of the bereavement team and is incredibly meaningful. Knowing that we are supporting people at one of the hardest moments of their lives feels like a real privilege. The conversations can be emotional, but it is also deeply rewarding to support people and see the progress they make in their journeys.
How would you describe the people you volunteer with?
The counsellors and volunteers are very knowledgeable, welcoming and supportive.
Has anything been challenging about volunteering? How did you overcome it?
Some of the conversations can be emotionally challenging at times, but knowing you are offering comfort and understanding when someone really needs it makes the role feel very worthwhile.
The training and team support from Sarah, Rob and other volunteers have helped me grow in confidence. We also have a reflection session after the bereavement café, which allows us to share experiences and receive support if needed.
What keeps you coming back?
Knowing that even a small amount of support can make a real difference to someone who is grieving is incredibly rewarding.
What would you say to someone thinking about volunteering?
Just do it. Volunteering gives as much back to me as I give to it. It brings a sense of achievement and pride in knowing I am supporting St Gemma’s to support people at a vulnerable time in their lives.
Why do you think volunteering is important?
Volunteering is important because it gives me the opportunity to give something back to St Gemma’s for the support given to my mum and family at the end of her life. It can also support hospice staff in different roles, which in turn helps reduce hospice costs.
If you could sum up your volunteering experience in one sentence, what would it be?
It has been a privilege working alongside people on their bereavement journey.