Jarnail’s story

We are taking part in the St Gemma’s Sunset Walk in memory of our dad; Jarnail Singh, and this is his story.

Our dad was first diagnosed with Leiomyosarcoma just after turning 60 in 2012. The cancer was contained within the mass and he underwent major surgery to have it removed alongside one of his kidneys.

Scans following recovery showed that all the cancer had been removed in surgery and no further treatment would be needed. After 5 years of monitoring with no signs of the cancer returning, we finally felt like we could breathe and our dad could continue to enjoy his retirement doing all the things he loved.

Sadly, in July 2021 he said those dreaded words, which we had heard 9 years earlier: ‘I can feel a lump’. The lump was in the same place as previous and we felt like we had been punched in the stomach. Life was going so well at this stage.

After a number of tests, results confirmed what we already knew in our hearts, our dad’s Leiomyosarcoma had returned. Only this time it was secondary and he was already at a stage 4 cancer diagnosis. We were crushed. His sarcoma originated in the same region, his abdomen but had spread to his liver, lungs and spine.

Consultants told us the only option would be chemotherapy which had a very small chance of slightly increasing life expectancy.

Chemotherapy was difficult, and our dad’s bone marrow struggled to keep up to the demands of the gruelling treatment.

After 16 months of undergoing chemo, the risk outweighed the benefit, our dad was discharged from treatment and told to enjoy what he would have left of life.

It was at this point we were introduced to the wonderful community nursing team at St Gemma’s Hospice.

From the moment we met them, it was clear what caring, compassionate and warm people they were. We were in safe hands and felt confident about that. We perhaps didn’t realise the level of impact they’d have on our dad and our family over the next 12 months.

In all honesty, our dad was a little reserved about having a palliative care team visiting him so often, at this stage he was physically feeling ok, managing everything independently and lived a relatively normal social life. However, within just a few visits from a nurse he started experiencing the mental benefit those visits would have. He had someone to ask questions to, speak about how he was feeling, raise concerns with and someone who could communicate with his GP and the consultants at the hospital.

The community nurse leading our dad’s care soon became an integral part of his wellbeing. Not only did she support him, she supported us – his family, so incredibly well. We were in the toughest situation but she made sure that she did everything she could to make it that some what easier.

As his conditioned worsened – this is when we would really experience the need for the community nursing team at St Gemma’s Hospice. They ensured that all his physical and medical needs were met and one thing which always comes to mind when thinking of his care is that they always did what they said they were going to do. We never had to chase them for anything, they just took control and got things done. It took a bit of pressure off knowing we could count on them.

Our dad was a man of very little words with those he didn’t know well, purely out of being shy but he quickly built up trust and admiration for the nurses and would often ask when they were visiting. They became an integral part to his daily life and brought him comfort.

We’ll never forget the way the community nurses spoke and their amazing bedside manner. They always showed the utmost respect toward our dad and treated him with dignity and addressed him directly, even when he was at end of life. Their attitude and approach could not be faulted.

Although our dad was deteriorating slower than expected, in his final two weeks of life things happened very quickly. We were on the phone to St Gemma’s almost daily at this point, and they were visiting every other day and liaising with all the other people that were needed for our dad’s care at this stage. Even when the nurse who was leading our dad’s care wasn’t available, someone always was. He and we were never alone. There was always someone at the end of the phone and nothing ever felt like too much. A special mention to Natalie, Kathy and Rob.

We’ll never forget the amazing work and support the St Gemma’s team gave to our dad and to us as a family. They enabled us to fulfil our dad’s wishes which was to pass away peacefully at home.

A final word on our dad. Well he was a proud husband to our mum for almost 51 years, a loving dad and wonderful grandad who put family above everything else. He believed in always helping others, so we will continue with that life value. We are so proud of him and the strength and courage he showed through his cancer journey.

To the team at St Gemma’s Hospice. From the bottom of our hearts, we thank you and we hope that by taking part in the Sunset Walk we will raise funds and awareness that will help you to continue your invaluable work.

To read more Hospice Stories or to share your experience of St Gemma’s, please visit www.st-gemma.co.uk/hospicestories