If you are struggling with grief, you can find helpful resources here – www.st-gemma.co.uk/bereavement-support
If you are struggling with grief, you can find helpful resources here – www.st-gemma.co.uk/bereavement-support
“I was 24 when my Mam died.
November 21st would have been her 85 birthday and marked exactly 24 years since she passed away.
Her last few hours were spent in St Gemma’s Hospice in Moortown, Leeds and I’ve never forgotten how kind, caring and professional the nurses were.
They offered the same level of palliative care for my Mother-in-Law Sylvia when she passed away 2 years ago.
Therefore, I’m very proud to announce that I’ve accepted one of their charity places and will be running the TCS London Marathon on the 23rd April 2023 to raise money for St Gemma’s Hospice.
This will be such a challenge for me, especially as I was diagnosed with Stage 2 hypertension and Type 2 Diabetes earlier this year, and so have had to totally re-evaluate my lifestyle and drop just short of 3 stone since May.
However, nothing will stop me crossing that finish line in remembrance of my Mam, even if it takes me a week and I’ve got to crawl over it.
Therefore, I am asking for support and encouragement and I’m also looking to raise £2,000 for St Gemma’s as they are such a wonderful charity.”
Alan served in the army for many years, and returned to Leeds when his wife became ill so he could care for her. After his wife died, Alan struggled to cope and found it hard to live in the home they had shared.
One day, he locked up the house, left the keys for his family, and headed off for some space and solitude. He bought a tent and set up a base in some local woods. He enjoyed the nature and the changing seasons and this became his home for almost 30 years. He occasionally ventured into Leeds, helping the market-stallholders loading and unloading their vans, in return for some food and supplies.
Alan’s health deteriorated a few years ago and he reluctantly sought medical advice. He was diagnosed with terminal lung cancer. It was around this time that Alan was introduced to Nicky, a senior nurse from St Gemma’s Hospice, who had been working with homeless people to ensure they could access the care they needed.
Nicky and Alan struck up a good relationship. By now, Alan had complications arising from his illness, and Nicky persuaded him to let her help. She helped to find him some council accommodation and she visits him regularly to ensure he has the care he needs as he enters the end of his life. This would have been nearly impossible had he remained living in his tent.
As Alan says:
“She’s my guardian angel – she has sorted out my pain, she brings me my medication and she generally just cares for me. She sometimes tells me off if I haven’t been looking after myself properly, but she does it in such as nice way! I couldn’t manage without her and I’m very lucky indeed.”
To read more about the care St Gemma’s has provided to local families and to share your story, please visit www.st-gemma.co.uk/hospicestories
Marion has been volunteering in our Pudsey shop for 18 years. What started as a simple conversation with the shop manager quickly turned into a way of life for Marion! This is her story:
Marion’s husband started volunteering in the shop when he retired and Marion would come and pick him up and pop into the shop. After getting to know Marion, the shop managers asked her if she would like to try volunteering too. Until that point, it had never entered her mind – but she hasn’t looked back since!
“I’m among friends and it keeps me active.”
Marion has seen the shop get busier and busier over the years. People will come in and have a chat whilst shopping; she loves the community feel of the shop. And volunteering really helped Marion after her Husband died: “I wouldn’t know what to do if I didn’t come here. I’m among friends and it keeps me active.”
Marion volunteers with us every day, serving on the till, sorting and steaming in the backroom, or whatever else is needed. Shop manager Becki said “Marion gives me so much support, not just by volunteering every day but with the knowledge she has about the shop and the needs of the local community.”
Fellow volunteer Rita said, “Marion is amazing, she has supported St Gemma’s tirelessly all day, 6 days a week whatever the weather for as long as I have been volunteering.”
We really appreciate our volunteer support and feel really proud to share this story with you. Thank you for everything you do Marion!
Like Marion, you may not have even thought about volunteering in a charity shop until someone mentions it to you or you read a story like this. To find out how you can get started, visit www.st-gemma.co.uk/volunteering.
Our dad, Malcolm George Longhorn, was the most loving, kindest, generous, and thoughtful person. He was married to our mum, Pauline, for almost 60 years and he truly embraced life. He was always so upbeat and loved being surrounded by his family and many friends.
In September 2019, dad was diagnosed with advanced prostate cancer. Initially when he received his diagnosis, dad wanted to protect us and therefore just dad and mum would attend his hospital appointments. That was dad, always thinking of us before himself. However, he did talk to us about his prognosis and what that meant, and he was fortunate to be able to have chemotherapy at St James’ hospital prior to Covid. We were lucky, and we were able to go with him as a family and we would sit and chat with a cuppa in hand while he was hooked up to the chemo machine.
Throughout the pandemic dad did receive some more chemotherapy and radiotherapy, then last summer dad was informed that although there may be some further treatment it would not necessarily prolong his life. Dad’s decision then was to focus on his quality of life for the 6 months he had left.
Dad and mum had, throughout his illness, managed to live a pretty normal life. He would often say how lucky he was. They would go out every day, and often for a coffee and a chat with friends in the local café. Dad also spoke about having a big party with family and friends but appreciated how difficult this would be, in particular for mum. Instead, dad and mum met with various family member and friends and enjoyed lots of quality time together.
Dad’s wishes were to stay at home for end-of-life care, which initially was quite a scary and daunting thought for us. However, St Gemma’s community team, particularly his nurses Alice and Hannah, were so reassuring and supportive and that gave us as a family the confidence to be able to do this. We could not have asked for anything more. Dad loved Alice and Hannah visiting. Their care and compassion is outstanding, and dad loved chatting to them about anything and everything, not just his illness. They really made us as a family feel more at ease and supported us so much throughout dad’s care.
At the start of November 2021, Alice confirmed that dad was at the end of life and that he may only have a couple of weeks left to live. St Gemma’s installed a special bed and various other aids and we stayed over with mum to help care for our dad. Being at home for dad meant that that anyone could call in to see him no matter what time of day it was. He never refused a visitor. Dad loved and valued his family, grandchildren, and friends. With dad being such a sociable person, meant this was perfect for him, being surrounded by his loved ones. Our wonderful dad passed away on 17 November 2021.
The aftercare support for our family provided by St Gemma’s has been amazing. We received various correspondence from St Gemma’s bereavement support team. I, Justine, did engage with the counselling service and it helped me talk through everything. I needed to speak with a professional and someone I did not know to help me manage my grief. It was very difficult at times but helped me cherish all the wonderful memories of my dad. I am incredibly lucky to have had such a loving and wonderful dad until he was eighty-two.
We wanted to share our story because the care and support we received from St Gemma’s community team was amazing. As we have said earlier, not only the wonderful care for our dad, but for us being supported as a family to care for dad at home. If there are any other families who do not know they can be supported with end-of-life care at home, they certainly can.
Today, on his mum, Zena’s, birthday, Jonathan shares his story about the care she received from our nurses, both from the Community Team and on our In-Patient Unit.
“I got to know the amazing nurses at St Gemma’s in June 2021, when my mum, Zena, passed away in the Hospice, aged 84. She had been diagnosed with pulmonary fibrosis three years previously. Before her diagnosis, she lived a very active life, continuing to teach yoga into her late seventies, even while contending with Parkinson’s Disease.
After approximately a month in the kind-spirited care of the wonderful nurses of the Community team, my mum’s conditioned worsened over the course of one weekend. After contacting the team on Monday morning, she was admitted to the Hospice on Tuesday, where she spent the last seventeen days of her life.
Having become fully dependant on oxygen, and unable to get out of bed, it became very hard for my mum to continue living at home. It was challenging for her to accept the constant need for oxygen, while she could no longer keep the house in the tidy state she prided herself on. Even as it was incredibly sad, she knew St Gemma’s was the right place to be.
At St Gemma’s, we were able to focus on spending time together as a family again, owing to the extraordinary support of the nurses and staff. From the moment we arrived in the ambulance, my two brothers and I were welcomed, and cared for, alongside our mum. The support was invaluable for us through what was a very difficult time.
My brothers and I were extremely grateful for the sensitive manner in which the team prioritised our mum’s dignity and comfort, helping us to laugh together again, in spite of our intense sadness. The beauty, peace and tranquillity of the Hospice gardens was tonic for us; the gardens were a space where we experienced some consolation in hard times, and where we could have moments of contemplation and reflection. I am even planning to recreate one of the water-features in my own garden, which will be a nice way of remembering my mum at peace.
I was astonished by the wonderful nurses, and by their joyful approach to their work. I had not expected to find any joy in my mum’s final days, yet the care and compassion my mum, my brothers and I experienced at St Gemma’s was, in many ways, uplifting.
My brothers and I were able to stay overnight with my mum in her room during the last week of her life, and the staff took great care of us, going above and beyond to bring us extra pillows, making sure we were all comfortable. We will always be grateful for everything St Gemma’s did for my mum, and for the family.”