bereavement

The Cabin is Officially Open!

September 19, 2023Blog Latest News

The Young People’s Cabin is officially open!

We recently hosted an official opening ceremony for The Cabin – a new, dedicated space for bereaved children and young people across Leeds. The Cabin sits within the Hospice gardens in Moortown and has been designed with sustainability in mind.

The event was hosted by St Gemma’s Chief Executive, Kerry Jackson. Invited guests included donors who had made significant contributions towards the creation of The Cabin, patrons, and the architects, so they could see their vision as a reality. This follows our soft launch earlier in the summer for the children who had contributed to the design and naming of The Cabin.

Marilyn Stowe made the biggest single donation towards the building. She said it was her privilege to be able to support local children facing the loss of a parent. Marilyn dedicated her donation to her grandmother whose own mother died when she was a child.

James Arkle of ArkleBoyce Architects said a few words about how they loved working on the project and with the children to bring their ideas to life.

Nic Colgan from the St Gemma’s Young People’s Service welcomed Abbie Stone and Jacob Newson to cut the ribbons to open The Cabin. Both Abbie and Jacob have been supported by the service. In her speech Nic said:

“Since I joined St Gemma’s 8 years ago, we have been talking about the importance of children having a safe, informal and creative space to allow them to explore their feelings and express their emotions. Sitting in a meeting room opposite a child and discussing difficult issues just feels too formal – not to mention the difficulties of trying to clean up glue and glitter from the carpet!

“The Cabin has been designed to ensure that the children have a beautiful, natural and safe space where they can be themselves, and so we can explore their emotions and give them the space and support they need at an often incredibly tough time.

“I’m so proud to see Abbie and Jacob here today. I have known Abbie for many years, I knew her mum, Jo and we built a strong relationship to help her navigate some very difficult times. We used to cook, bake, knit together, as Abbie preferred to do more practical things whilst we talked. This space would have really benefited her and her family at the time but we still made lots of special memories with the whole family. Abbie is incredible young woman, graduate, teacher, it is such a wonderful moment to have her here tonight to cut the ribbon and to open The Cabin.

“Jacob is this smart young pilot of the future, and it’s been our privilege to support Jacob since his mum died. Jacob lives his life to the full, taking on challenges, enjoying the outdoors and conquering whatever he tries. He loves attending our activity-based events and The Cabin will provide Jacob and the other children a much more interesting and open space to play, talk and relax together. He has a passion for all things planes, and with his dad Andrew they are flying the flag for St Gemma’s by raising incredible amounts for the Hospice. We are all really proud of his achievements. Jacob will join Abbie to cut the ribbon together.”

Framed posters inside The Cabin telling its story

To see more of this fantastic new addition to the Hospice, visit www.st-gemma.co.uk/young-peoples-cabin

The West Yorkshire Advance Care Planning & Bereavement Toolkit

July 24, 2023Academic Unit Blog Latest News

The West Yorkshire Advance Care Planning and Bereavement toolkit has now launched! The toolkit is designed to help people to have better conversations and to support personalised care towards the end of their lives.

Many of us may have thought about what we’d like at our funeral or our wishes for our loved ones when we are no longer here. Far fewer of us think about what our wishes might be closer to the end of our lives, and how to ensure that the people caring for us know what is important to us.

St Gemma’s Hospice, in collaboration with Overgate and Wakefield hospices, have developed a toolkit to support these conversations and ensure that everyone can receive personalised care. With the help of stakeholders and people with lived experiences in palliative and end of life care from across West Yorkshire, this toolkit has been co-produced with accessibility in mind.

The team at St Gemma’s, alongside colleagues at Overgate and Wakefield hospices, began by looking at the existing resources available and identifying what new resources needed to be created.

We understand that certain groups may face inequalities and barriers in accessing information and services, which is why this toolkit includes custom resources for people with learning disabilities, dementia, South Asian people, and people experiencing homelessness. Additionally, the toolkit signposts to valuable advance care planning and bereavement resources published by other organisations.

Jo Westbury, Training and Development Manager, and Jane Chatterjee, Lecturer in Palliative Care, led this project for St Gemma’s.

Jo said “We have learned a lot through this project, especially through engaging with different communities and hearing different perspectives. These learnings have informed the content of the toolkit, and they will also impact how we better tailor patient care at St Gemma’s Hospice.”

The toolkit’s resources can be used alongside the ‘My Future Wishes’ resources to ensure that people throughout West Yorkshire have better conversations with their loved ones about advance care planning and bereavement. This is important to ensure that a person’s wishes are honoured, and families don’t have to make these difficult decisions on their own.

Access the West Yorkshire Advance Care Planning and Bereavement toolkit.

Silk Painting with the Young People’s Service

June 7, 2023Blog Latest News Patient Stories

The St Gemma’s Young People’s Service runs all kinds of activities for the children and young people they support, including workshops, day trips and weekends away. These activities provide those receiving support an opportunity to cope with their feelings and spend time with others who are going through the same thing.

On Friday 2nd and Saturday 3rd June, the Young People’s Service team organised a lovely silk painting workshop in collaboration with artist Donna Fox.

Wendy, Young People’s Bereavement Worker, told us more about the workshops:

“The St Gemma’s Young People’s service collaborated with artist Donna Fox to work with a group of young people, staff and volunteers over 2 days to create a hot wax Batik tree of life silk painting. The children and young people made their own sun catchers to take home, and their special memories and ideas were expressed in a leaf on the tree or a block around the border of the main silk painting – surrounding a garden feature and tree of their hands.

“Everyone had a great time coming together, being creative and learning new skills. Some words used by the group to describe the whole experience were ‘calming’, ‘mesmerising,’ ‘relaxing’ and ‘fun’!

“Huge thanks to Donna Fox for her inspiration and expert guidance. We can’t wait to see the finished silk!”

Well done to everyone involved for making these fantastic art workshops happen! Thank you to Arts Council England, the national development agency for creativity and culture, for partly funding this very special project.

We look forward to holding events like this in our new, dedicated space in the Hospice gardens; visit www.st-gemma.co.uk/young-peoples-cabin to find out more about the sustainable building, specifically designed with bereaved children in mind, that will be used by hundreds of youngsters supported by St Gemma’s bereavement team each year.

The St Gemma’s Young People’s Service supports children and young people from across Leeds where someone in the family is seriously ill or has died.

Cheryl’s Story

May 27, 2021Hospice Stories

Cheryl has volunteered as a bereavement counsellor at St Gemma’s for almost five years, providing invaluable support for people with a loved one who is seriously ill or has died.

Cheryl has been volunteering with St Gemma’s for nearly 5 years. Originally Cheryl she trained as a teacher and then as a counsellor. Cheryl has volunteered in various counselling roles over the last 30 years. She gets a lot out of her volunteer role and enjoys getting to know people and supporting them through a difficult time.

Cheryl supports up to four clients per week with an hour-long session. Sessions have been running on zoom or by phone over the last year. At the first session Cheryl will initially meet up with a client and both will decide whether they feel it would be helpful to continue with counselling. The support involves listening to the clients and supporting them in exploring their grief. Sometimes, the process can be helped with the use of visual or tactile aids such as stones, pen and paper, or other aids to expressing themselves.

Cheryl is looking forward to returning to face-to-face support. However despite this, she sees the positive side to offering online sessions to clients who have issues with accessibility.

As well as group supervision offered by the Hospice, Cheryl has attended a number of training sessions to support her role including a session on Sikh spirituality, rituals and beliefs and more recently on the effect of the pandemic the role of a bereavement counsellor.

Cheryl says “I really enjoy volunteering at St Gemma’s, it’s a good place to volunteer and we are well supported.”

Joanne’s Story

May 7, 2021Blog Hospice Stories

Last year was a really difficult time for many of us, for different reasons. A global pandemic and local restrictions meant that things were far from normal. For Joanne, the pandemic made life a whole lot worse but St Gemma’s was there for her husband and family when they really needed it. Joanne explains:

“My husband Matthew started having headaches each morning, we didn’t think anything of it. But by spring, he was really suffering and ended up in hospital. He was eventually diagnosed with a brain tumour. They did operate on him and begin treatment, but we later found out that this cancer was aggressive, untreatable and terminal. It was an enormous shock for him and the whole family. He was 46 when he was told he wouldn’t live for much longer.

As a family, we had experienced the cancer journey before. But the pandemic restrictions somehow made it so much worse. Under normal circumstances, your family and friends can support you in hospital and visit you at home. But Matthew didn’t have this. It was particularly awful for us both when he was having his treatment in the hospital for hours and I sat waiting in the car-park outside. Everything just felt remote and isolated.

“St Gemma’s made it very clear to me that it wasn’t just about supporting Matthew – it was about supporting all of us.”

Matthew’s condition deteriorated as the year went on, and in December we were referred to St Gemma’s. On our initial visit from Natalie, our St Gemma’s community nurse, it was clear he was getting worse and that caring for him at home was becoming too difficult. Natalie stayed with us for several hours that day, making sure we were OK and planning his admission to St Gemma’s In-Patient Unit. I really appreciated her kindness. After Matthew’s lonely journey throughout his cancer treatment, it was so important to us that I could stay right by his side the whole time, and St Gemma’s enabled this.

St Gemma’s made it very clear to me that it wasn’t just about supporting Matthew – it was about supporting all of us. It wasn’t just the nurses, doctor, consultant and healthcare assistants who cared – it was literally everyone on the ward, including the lady who made me cups of tea – I drank A LOT of tea! They even gave me a special fob so I could go and get a hot chocolate too.

The staff encouraged me to walk around the Hospice gardens if I needed some air, but I mainly stayed with Matthew. Our children were able to visit when Matthew was awake. Matthew loved Star Wars and was able to watch the last episode of the Mandelorian with our son, so that was really special.

On Christmas Day it was just me and Matthew. They made us a Christmas dinner and brought a little hamper for us both – which was so thoughtful. They had even brought in a bigger bed so I could lay next to him and watch Christmas TV together. He sadly died in the early hours of 27th December.

Since then, Jade from the Family Support team has provided vital support to our children and we’ve all been offered bereavement support. They have been brilliant. In fact the whole team have been a lifeline. We do feel very cared for through what has been the worst of times.

It’s clearly been a difficult year for everyone and you could see it was harder than usual for the staff – having to work in protective equipment and being unable to offer their usual hugs. However they somehow still managed to focus completely on the personal care we received. I really felt that was their ethos; it was very much centred on us.”

Stuart’s Story

April 29, 2021Blog Hospice Stories

Stuart Levin’s wife Francine was cared for on the St Gemma’s In-Patient Unit during the height of the Covid-19 pandemic in 2020. Stuart has since been supported by our bereavement service. Stuart tells his story:

“My darling wife Francine had lived with cancer for almost 30 years. She was first diagnosed with breast cancer in the early 90s, when our son Marcus was very young. But she beat it – and she beat it again when it reappeared several years later.

The first time she had chemotherapy she was in a room with lots of others, waiting for her treatment. She expected to see older people there – but was shocked to see children too. When she recovered, she asked if I would help her to create a charity, which we called ‘Make a Dream’ to help the kids and their families.

We both had our busy lives and careers, but Francine devoted every spare moment to these children and became a friend to every family she worked with. She knew the intense joy when a treatment worked and a child recovered and the awful pain when a young life was lost. Her passion and commitment were recognised when Francine was given a Daily Mail ‘Pride of Britain’ award at Grosvenor House in London. A few years later, she was invited to a garden party at Buckingham Palace and presented to the Queen for her services to charity.

But despite all the years of supporting others through their end-of-life journey, when her cancer came back for the final time it completely overwhelmed us both.

Last year, just after the pandemic had started, her cancer returned, worse than ever and Francine began to really go downhill. We became isolated in our apartment and for months it was just Francine and me. I was happy to care for her, of course; but it was so incredibly hard. She needed constant attention and I had to help her do everything. And because of COVID there was no support for us – no-one to come and help.

“In desperation, we reached out for St Gemma’s… They called us back the very next morning; they had found a bed for Francine.”

Now, I pride myself being a strong person but nothing prepared me for this; I became desperately tired and emotionally worn out. And all the time I could see Francine getting weaker and weaker, she even stopped eating. In desperation, we reached out for St Gemma’s.

They called us back the very next morning; they had found a bed for Francine. We were both so utterly relieved. When we arrived in the ambulance the nurses (the angels!) welcomed us both and showed Francine to her room. All the stress and worry lifted from me, completely. It was a revelation. I stopped being her carer and became her husband once more.

“They gave Francine the most incredible care, but they also took the time to see me as a person, to support the journey I was going on.”

For the days we were at St Gemma’s they looked after us both; and that amazed me. They gave Francine the most incredible care, but they also took the time to see me as a person, to support the journey I was going on. I saw her every day. Even though I had to wear the full gown and mask I would sit and spend hours with her, just sitting, talking, remembering, holding her hand. When she slept, I’d walk around their beautiful gardens; I must have lapped it hundreds of times.

Despite the restrictions, the nurses found a way to let Marcus and our daughter-in-law see her too, by coming in through the garden. It was the day before she died – and Francine’s last words were to them. The nurses had noticed a change in her and had called me to say I should come in now. For four hours I sat with her, holding her hand. She slipped away with grace and dignity, in complete peace.

Francine and I were both born and raised in Leeds. I know it inside out and love it with a passion – Francine did too. But it was only when I sat with Francine for those precious days on ‘Dales’ ward that I realised just how massively important this Hospice is to our city. We are all so hugely lucky that St Gemma’s is there to guide and care for us when we need it most. They give us the best care in the world – and don’t ask for a penny for it.

I’m helping St Gemma’s right now as much as I can – and I’ll do more when this pandemic is over. I have a life-long debt to this charity and the nurses who cared so magnificently for my wife. But St Gemma’s needs us all – and so I ask you to join me today in giving doctors Hannah and Karen (Hannah was Francine’s doctor) and the nurses the support they need from us. Because we all may need St Gemma’s one day.”

Share your story about St Gemma’s or find out more about our bereavement support and grief counselling.